Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
