i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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