EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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