Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
