I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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