I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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