first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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