I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
