Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
