i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
