ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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