David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
