I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
