i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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