Is it because I queefed?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
