420 ftw
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
