they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
