upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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