loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
