What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
