I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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