just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
