I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
