Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
