i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
