Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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