brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
