He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
