I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
