the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
