I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize