We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
