Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
