as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
