Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize