he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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