You're so nebulous sometimes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
