I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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