Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
did you just send me my own nude
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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