South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
