omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
