I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize