How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
