i think my tv is drunk
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
