it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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