Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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