why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
