Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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