I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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