its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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