Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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