we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
