I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
