Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
