Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
