you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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