Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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