I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish I only lived at night.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Randomize
