Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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