After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
