I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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