Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
