My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
